Another Day In Paradox

Posted · 8 Comments

My home on a California commune may have been on the same planet as my other life in New Orleans, but it was a whole other world.

These two cultures collided most when it came to food. In New Orleans, I was all but force fed by my Italian relatives. Food was the centerpiece of recreation…



In essence, food, like Jesus, was worshiped in my family…

Mawmie’s annual alter, celebrating saints and stuffed artichokes.

My mother, on the other hand, was inspired by the revolutions of her time and believed healthy eating (in this case, a raw diet), was essential for healthy conscious living and positive planetary change.

She left much behind in New Orleans, including Catholicism, but soon adopted a different ideology: Nutrition.

Hoping to deter my brother Frankie’s and my adolescent cravings fornormal” food, she would say, “We are not gonna’ poison our bodies with impur-a food. Our bodies are not graveyards fa’ murdered animals. Y’all want to end up like a nucleah waste dump? Don’t let ya taste buds run ya’ life!”

Like a good Demon daughter, I questioned her authority:

“Ma, you say the Indians smoke weed as ‘medicine’…well, guess what? They also eat friggin buffalo. Can we pleeease have some of that? I’ll even eat a rattle snake!”

Her common response to such pleas, was to look deeply into my eyes, then shake her hand an inch away from my face, “Be-a warria’! Don’t bow ta’ tha Gad of Sinilidy!”

(For those who need that last line translated: “Be a warrior. Don’t bow to the God of Senility.”)

Most of the time I refused her fear-of-food rap, rejecting the belief that one Starburst would make me into an old, decrepit, weak, toxic sinner. In fact, sometimes I rebelled by sneaking away and swallowing large wads of Hubba Bubba gum – just so I’d have chemicals in my system and be ‘polluted’ like the rest of society. No one was going to make me into some pure freak!

Yet sometimes, after my private riots, I’d suffer great guilt. This reaction was compounded when I was stoned with my friend Pink Heart and her father, Chickory.

Chickory didn’t live on the land, but came by occasionally to see Pink Heart. He would drive us around, getting us high and buying us junk food.

When we’d return hours later, Pink would roll her eyes in frustration when I would confess nervously to the nearest adult:

“We had ice cream with bubblegum in it….and…I swallowed the gum.”

For those of you who did not partake of prime California cannabis during prepubescence, please note that paranoia can be an intense part of the experience.

Once on Halloween, I was allowed go trick-or-treating with Pink and Chickory –  though eating candy was of course forbidden.

Lets just say, devilry was afoot that night… As darkness descended, candy corn and red vines appeared everywhere… Succumbing to the lechery of the night, I bit into a Kit Kat. Instantly I felt myself bowing, bowing deeply to the evil God of Senility, far before my time!

I imagined my mother finding me, in my Raggedy Ann costume, curled up on the sidewalk, melted chocolate between my wrinkled and crone-like claws… my red yarn wig askew, revealing my bald and liver-spotted scalp…!

On the drive home, abruptly I told Chickory to pull over the car, for I, a toxic sinner, must discard this poison at once! I still remember the sound of Pink yelling from the backseat, “Don’t throw it Deli! Give it to me!”

My nervous system still can’t handle weed very well.

Sometimes Pink tried calming me by whispering Bob Marley in my ear: “Don’t worry about a thing… Cause every little thing is gonna be alright…” Other times I’d start the song, and we’d alternate singing lines to each other.

Needless to say, it’s taken me a while to find some balance between the conflicting messages I received about food. I’m still learning how to trust myself to make appropriate decisions about what’s good for me.

I suppose the gift of growing up in paradox was that I learned to appreciate both sides of the cultural coin – while seeing discrepancies in each. Caught between polarized worlds has ultimately helped me find my own truth.

In this world of conflicting beliefs, many people seem intent upon holding firmly to their rigid convictions. Some identify with a ‘superior’ or dominant culture, political affiliation, or righteous religion, food fascism…. Personally, I don’t believe in an ultimate path. Life is not about finding the answers, but more a beautiful mystery to watch unfold.

With every part and all my heart, Adele.

Handy Tip

I thought I’d start this section with one of my favorite hand creams by J.R. Watkins. After all, my motto for gorgeous mitts is to MOISTURIZE!  I’m a strong advocate for natural ingredients, and avoid chemicals, artificial fragrances and harsh dyes whenever possible. This product passes the test as a clean and green way to beautify. The texture is sensuous and the smells are divine (I’m personally partial to the Lemon Cream). So keep a tube at your desk, another by your bed and one in your purse, and you’ll soon see a little lotion goes a long way!

8 Responses to "Another Day In Paradox"
  1. Mindschmootz says:

    I apologize ahead of time as I rudely masticate a BACON breakfast burrito while I speak. Food and nutrition, as with everything in life I believe, is all about balance. Today, right now with relish, I am bowing in delicious deference, to the god of senility. Yesterday, I consumed all that is raw, green, and good for me. That being said, if life is about balance, LIVING is about equilibrium…it's damn grand to tip the scales at times knowing that it will all even out in time. As always, Adele, love your work.

  2. Lynn Zavaro says:

    1.) Love Mindschmmootz's comment – hilarious!
    2.) Love how you so amazingly and eerily well you write out your mother's drawl
    3.) love love the images of the candy that made me want to fill a plastic pumpkin up with bright colored candies with toxic dye and eat them all right now
    4.) Love love love the new addition of the top product pic for pretty parts! And wow! that hand cream!!
    5.) Question: Is Chickory the guy with a bear skin on his head?

    As always Adele, another winner of a blog!!! You go girl!!

  3. Comedy Karma says:

    Who is that with the bear on their head?! Knowing you and your crazy upbringing THAT'S your mother!!

    I love how you are all about balance with…everything, really. A great reminder for all of us!


  4. Adele Uddo says:

    Agreed Lynn, I always LOVE Mind's comments. That gal should be a writer 😉 Seriously, the scale metaphor really resonates with this Libra!

    Thank you for your amazing support.

    To answer the question about bear man, I'm actually not sure who that dude is. He ended up in a pile of pictures so I'm guessing we met him at the Oregon Country Fair.

  5. DDavis2 says:

    Coincidentally, J.R Watkins products are conveniently sold at our local Cracker Barrel restaurant. The fine eating establishment where I delightfully partake in grits, warm buttermilk pecan pancakes, and "balance" plates of breakfast meats that would make your mother weep. Next time I visit I shall pick up some "lemon cream".

    Food. It seems to be the cornerstone of my family history as well. Although I have no "famous" foodie ancestor, what I remember most is how much food plays a part in all my memories. Grandma Winnie's homemade bread, Grandma Eva's tortillas, and mom's…well…mom makes everything. At family gatherings everyone congregates in the kitchen.

    Once again you did not disappoint, my friend! Thank you for sharing your delightful memories and taking me back to mine 🙂

  6. Adele Uddo says:

    Where's the Cracker Barrel? I'm on my way! Though can I stop at Grandma Winnie's first?

    So true my friend, food remains the cornerstone of so many of our collective memories and stories…the universal thread that connects us all, yet reveals such diversity.

    Thank YOU for your wonderful support and for sharing some of your own stories 🙂

  7. Anonymous says:

    i feel speechless after that one! it would take me a week to comment on the whole food thing, our society, media, bla, bla and more bla. thanks again, adele. you cheer me up if i am down and your blogs have me nodding my head in agreement constantly. love you.

  8. Adele Uddo says:

    Your comments cheer ME up A, so thank you for sharing your thoughts and support. IF you ever have a free 'week' to comment further on the whole food thing as you put it, I'd indeed be interested 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


Popular Posts: