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That’s Amore

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The concept of family for me was defined most by my Aunt Nettie (my mom’s eldest sister) and my Uncle Frank (my dad’s cousin). Two Uddo boys married a couple of Riccobono sisters, and the relationships that evolved were as diverse as all four individuals.

 

Nettie and Frank

Mom and Dad

One of Nettie’s and Frank’s signature songs (they had a few) was Put Your Head on my Shoulder by Paul Anka. Please play as you read on…

 

 

Frank and Nettie met in high school and were instant sweethearts. Anyone around them could feel their chemistry and notice a love that appears rarely outside of films and fairytales…

 

Nettie was a knockout…

 

…raised in a traditional Roman Catholic home. Her mother, Josephine Riccobono (aka “Mawmie”), was so strict she wouldn’t allow Nettie to attend an Elvis Presley concert. Nettie, made Mawmie proud and remained an exemplary good girl…

 

…unlike her other two sinner sisters who became pregnant and promptly married just before their 2nd decade.

 

Frank was a child prodigy…

 


…raised in an affluent family that founded its fortune by giving away household cleaning products during the Depression.

 

 

Frank was one of the funniest people I’ve ever known…

 

 

Nettie’s and Frank’s parents tried slowing down the young lovebirds by enforcing some separation, but the love train was destined for eternal devotion. There was no keeping Nettie and Frank apart.

In the spring of 1967, Nettie and Frank were married…

 

Over 500 guests were invited to celebrate a Big Fat Italian wedding, Southern style…

 

 

Soon after they were married, Nettie and Frank had their first of three girls…

 

 

They were hands on parents.

 

 

Every summer, for over 30 years, the Uddo family and their closest friends hit the beaches of Florida for an annual vacation…

 

 

…and in the winter, the family would travel to the snow.

 

 

There was a sense of fun and lightness throughout Nettie and Frank’s tribe.

 

MardiGras_4

MuscleMan_3

Toilet

MardiGras_2

 

Their joy was infectious and passed on to their children.

Family_Fun1

 

Frank was an ambitious lawyer, yet remained a man with many hobbies and accomplishments…

 

Lawyer

Music

Hobbies_4

Family_2

MuscleMan_1

 

Hobbies

SuperMan

 

Nettie was a dedicated stay-at-home mother.

 

Mother1

 

Frank was large with life…while Nettie was the sturdy foundation, always by his side…

 

Hands

 

Family first motivated Frank and Nettie – their loving devotion to their children defined them.

 

Birthday

Birthday_2

 

For me, Nettie, Frank and their girls were the ultimate straight family.

 

Straight_Family1

 

Although I was the kooky cousin from the crazy California commune, I was always welcomed by their heartfelt hospitality.

 

Cousins

Nettie remained an Angel (in every sense of the word), who raised her daughters right and polite. Her standards were very high and at times difficult for us mortals to uphold.

Once, after a night out in the French Quarter, Nettie smelled alcohol on my breath, and grounded Cami (her eldest daughter and my teenage chaperone) for a year. Nettie’s principles were more enforced than Louisiana law.

One of Nettie’s many rules was that her family eat together at the dinner table, nightly. Nettie carried forth many of Mawmie’s traditions that centered around a passionate love and appreciation for delicious home cooked food.

 

Dinner1

When Nettie’s girls were ready to marry, she organized 2 weddings 6 months apart, and a grand finale a few years later – spectacular affairs each time!

The girls soon had children of their own, expanding the family and bringing even more love…

Not long after the birth of their fourth grandchild, Frank was diagnosed with an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer.

Nettie stayed by his side…

 

Grandpa_2

 

So did his family…

 

Family1

Nurse Nettie enforced a strict detoxifying protocol, which included a supplemental program of vitamins and enzymes, along with colon cleanses and coffee enemas.

Frank remained a good sport, as he retired for his afternoon “crap-puccino”.

After 36 years of marriage filled with beautiful memories, Frank passed away on their wedding anniversary.

 

Army_1

 

A few years later, Cupid struck again when Nettie fell in love and married her neighbor, Leonard…

 

Leonard

 

…a man who had also lost his spouse to cancer. Nettie and Leonard comforted each other, while traveling broadly and bringing renewal to their lives.

 

Kids

Beach

Grandkids3

In 2010, Nettie was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and underwent 12 months of chemotherapy. She rarely if ever complained, but instead put her energy into attending dance recitals, swimming meets and ballgames with her grandchildren. She also rebuilt a country home for her family that was destroyed during Hurricane Katrina.

 

House

I visited New Orleans 3 times this past August to be with family during this transformative time and bid farewell to my dear Aunt Nettie.

Her children remained by her side…

 

Grandkids_2Grandkids

Hospital_1

 

While in New Orleans, I was struck by how this family supports and serves each other. Help is often offered without request…or puffing or eye rolling.

I witnessed Nettie’s fearlessness. Her priest said she knew that death was not the end, but a “doorway”.  Nettie met death much like she lived her life: with unwavering strength and grace.

Her children have inherited these gifts from their mother. When driving home from the hospital one night, Cami told me that she didn’t feel bitter about losing her parents. She realizes how blessed was her time with them, and for that, she’s grateful.

She then drove casually through a red light on the dark rural road, suddenly reminding me of my own father.

Nettie spent her final days in the middle of her living room, surrounded at all times by those who loved her.

The last time I saw my Aunt Nettie, I asked for a moment alone with her. When the room emptied, I told her what she meant to me, that her mark was everlasting and her loving legacy would be felt forever.

She listened with her hand on her heart, while her kind eyes looked at me, smiled, and closed again…

Then we sat together in silence, looking out the bay windows at the hot summer sun setting in the distance, over voices of children playing in her backyard. We held hands while the bright orange ball of light descended, dispersing and fading into an infinite and wondrous universe.

 

Hands1

30 Responses to "That’s Amore"
  1. John Hagerty says:

    I LOVE IT!!! Everytime I read more about your family its more and more interesting. I wish more familys had the same values these days. It seems like that is the key missing to todays youth, The hands on parents. Now people are more worried about work and buisness and less about the important things like children and family. Its great to see we both grew up in great loving familys and that is what makes us who we are today. Your family was busy with Progresso and its many other food interests along with the lawyers and resturant owners but still made sure family was taken care of first. I may not be Italian but I do live the respect lifestyle and no snitching,lol. I love your family Adele keep up the great writing.

    John

    • Adele says:

      So true John, sadly many families are not at all as hands on as Nettie and Frank were. They were quite the exception. Yet they impacted and inspired many (even in my own family). Thanks so much for sharing and tuning in my friend!

  2. Kelly says:

    As always, Adele, your writing elicits emotions in me. This time, I cried for the passing of Nettie and Frank and reflected on the gratitude I have for many of my own family who are always around to rally and support me.

    Thanks for sharing Frank and Nettie with us. 🙂

    • Adele says:

      Kelly, I’m so glad you were touched by these people who touched me. I too shed a few tears these the past few days preparing this. The pictures brought back so many memories and I was really able to feel their energy and impact again.

  3. Monica says:

    Adele,

    My God, what a beautiful and heart melting story. I would like to express my condolences for Nettie’s recent passing. What a loss, we need more women like her. You definitively got your genes from Nettie. The photo of you laying with her, having your moment of privacy, just opened the flood gates for me. Watching her comfort you with no fear and acceptance of her faith got my tear ducts into overdrive. I am so glad that she found love again after Frank’s passing. The “hands” photo broke the “levees” in me once more followed by another flood. Her hands remained beautiful until her final day, those are your hands, aside from her/yours extraordinary beauty. Thank you for your openness, I feel your loss. If only we could as strong as Nettie. You are GOLD Adele, a beautiful soul and that is why karma will always take care of you. You have an angel on your shoulder. Your truly, soul sister.

    • Adele says:

      Monica, I see you are just as sentimental as ME 😉 Thank you for this heartfelt share – I’m so touched that it touched you. The picture of the woman on the hospital bed with Nettie is her lovely daughter, Cami -though the hands holding each other are mine and Nettie’s. I love what you say, ‘If only we could be as strong as Nettie’ -That’s quite an aspiration! Thanks so much for tuning in soul sis 😉

  4. Am commenting through my tears. So very beautiful and true. Thanks, Dellie

  5. Julie says:

    This brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful touching journey through a family’s life. Thank you my friend for sharing this. So beautifully written, with obvious deep love and affection.

    • Adele says:

      It’s always so great to hear from you mate. And it’s comforting to know I’m not the only teary one, as apparently there are a few of us 🙂 I hope all is well in Australia – sure wish we were there!

  6. Sarah T says:

    This is a beautiful post, Chip Chop! You bring Nettie and Fraank’s love story to life so vividly. I had tears in my eyes as I read it. Thank you. xo

  7. Once again, Adele, thank you for sharing your personal memories. I can certainly see a family resemblance…especially the inside parts.

    You know, I have to reiterate that the family values (what a bastardized term these days) that you so eloquently recall above, are certainly alive in well in our youth and our families today. Our modern families just happen to look a little different than they did in Nettie and Frank’s time. True, society has changed quite a bit and provides unforeseen challenges for parents, but the values of being a good human being are timeless. Sometimes I think it’s easier to say kids don’t have the same values anymore than to look inward at ourselves and see what we have done to the world we bring them into. *climbing off soapbox now*

    • Adele says:

      Great point Schmootz, I love when you stand on the box and speak your intelligent and provoking Mind! Indeed good values are timeless, no matter what lifetime we find ourselves in 😉

  8. ffig tree says:

    Beautiful life. Beautiful story.

  9. Sylvia says:

    Such a touching story, Adele. Thank you, again, for transporting me to a wonderful world of such love and devotion. I was moved beyond words. BTW, it’s good to know your cousin still spoke to you after her year-long punishment for your alcohol-stained breath. 😉

  10. stacy b says:

    Yo are making me cry again!!! Love the last hand picture – amazing !!!!

  11. Cami Chiarella says:

    I have come to the computer at least 4 times since you posted this particular blog and each time had to stop because I was and am so overwhelmed with emotion. Deli, I feel you have captured the essense of my family’s whole life in your piece. The wonderful memories all came rushing back! I have always wanted the world to know how blessed and truly magical our life was with my parents. You captured it with such love, humor and sentimentality! Reading it is bittersweet… as there is a part if me that felt as long as I was not seeing it or talking about “it” there was a chance everything has been a bad dreaam. But, it is real and you have allowed me to face it in the most special way. I will cherish this gift forever. I love you always, Cami

    • Adele says:

      Dear Cam and Joe, now you put tears in MY eyes. I am so happy that you both are proud of this piece, and that you feel the love behind this tribute. Your family impacted my life profoundly and I am forever grateful. Your family is my family. We are all blessed to have been parented by your parent’s love. They gave us all a unique gift that will continue to bare blessings through their example and memory. I love you both dearly, Aunt D xo

  12. Joe Joe Chiarella says:

    Aunt Deli I really liked what you put together here. Its great to know how much you cared for Grandmother and the whole family. Whenever I miss or want to see Grandmother or Gootzie I can just come here. Thank you for making this. I sure do miss Grandmother. I want to see you soon. Love you.

  13. Jema says:

    Deli Pro baby PRO!!!!!

  14. Christopher Myers says:

    Wow Deli,
    That brought a tear to my eye. what a beautiful story of love and strength. It makes daily complaints seem so petty.

  15. roy maggio says:

    Adele…………this was a lovely heartfelt read……….wonderful expressed

  16. Lynn says:

    My my my Adele (waving hand through the thick humid air Southern style) what a loving, gracious, beautiful tribute to your dear Aunt Nettie, Uncle Frank and their children. I played the song along with it and TOTALLY got the whole picture, like a movie the story and images played on together. The song ended right as we see Nettie in the hospital and the picture of her daughter (I’m assuming – or is that you?) lying on her lap. As we know, we die how we live and the love, heart and generosity brought tears to my eyes. I know that standard table next to the hospital bed, the styroform cup with the straw and the jug for ice intimately. And i am reminded how so many people end their lives in such a way and how possibly so few are graced with the love as Aunt Nettie. And my God HER HANDS! all the way to end, those hands…cupped in yours… truly the legacy lives far beyond body parts…

    • Adele says:

      I thought this piece might bring back some hospital memories Lynn. You have been through so much and continually amaze me with your strength, bravery and wisdom. Oh, and did I mention big beautiful heart? Thank you my dear friend xo

  17. Linda says:

    Frank and Nettie were two of the most loved people in my life! How could anyone not love them? They shared their love with others and showed people how to love! There are not many days in my life that pass when I do not think of them or pray to and for them! This is a beautiful dedication with much more to tell! Yes, their fond memories live on through their three beautiful daughters! Thank you for taking the time to recognize Frank and Nettie. …And yes, we have been blessed to have had a true angel!, Nettie, in our lives.

  18. Mary Jo Gessler says:

    I’m a distant cousin of your family that happened upon this lovely story.
    I remember cousin,Josie, and her daughter Antoinette,and their lovely home near the lake. Always warm and welcoming.
    My family and I were at Nettie and Frank’s spectacular wedding, She was so beautiful – just perfect!
    Thanks for this lovely trip down memory lane.

    • adele says:

      What a wonderful story Mary Jo! I love that you were at Nettie’s wedding. Wow! Yes, it looked pretty spectacular. Thanks for chiming in and tuning in 🙂

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