That’s Amore

The concept of family for me was defined most by my Aunt Nettie (my mom’s eldest sister) and my Uncle Frank (my dad’s cousin). Two Uddo boys married a couple of Riccobono sisters, and the relationships that evolved were as diverse as all four individuals.

 

One of Nettie’s and Frank’s signature songs (they had a few) was Put Your Head on my Shoulder by Paul Anka. Please play as you read on…

 

 

Frank and Nettie met in high school and were instant sweethearts. Anyone around them could feel their chemistry and notice a love that appears rarely outside of films and fairytales…

 

Nettie was a knockout…

 

…raised in a traditional Roman Catholic home. Her mother, Josephine Riccobono (aka “Mawmie”), was so strict she wouldn’t allow Nettie to attend an Elvis Presley concert. Nettie, made Mawmie proud and remained an exemplary good girl…

 

…unlike her other two sinner sisters who became pregnant and promptly married just before their 2nd decade.

 

Frank was a child prodigy…

 

…raised in an affluent family that founded its fortune by giving away household cleaning products during the Depression.

 

 

Frank was one of the funniest people I’ve ever known…

 

 

Nettie’s and Frank’s parents tried slowing down the young lovebirds by enforcing some separation, but the love train was destined for eternal devotion. There was no keeping Nettie and Frank apart.

In the spring of 1967, Nettie and Frank were married…

 

Over 500 guests were invited to celebrate a Big Fat Italian wedding, Southern style…

 

 

Soon after they were married, Nettie and Frank had their first of three girls…

 

 

They were hands on parents.

 

 

Every summer, for over 30 years, the Uddo family and their closest friends hit the beaches of Florida for an annual vacation…

 

 

…and in the winter, the family would travel to the snow.

 

 

There was a sense of fun and lightness throughout Nettie and Frank’s tribe.

 

 

Their joy was infectious and passed on to their children.

 

Frank was an ambitious lawyer, yet remained a man with many hobbies and accomplishments…

 

 

 

Nettie was a dedicated stay-at-home mother.

 

 

Frank was large with life…while Nettie was the sturdy foundation, always by his side…

 

 

Family first motivated Frank and Nettie – their loving devotion to their children defined them.

 

 

For me, Nettie, Frank and their girls were the ultimate straight family.

 

 

Although I was the kooky cousin from the crazy California commune, I was always welcomed by their heartfelt hospitality.

 

Nettie remained an Angel (in every sense of the word), who raised her daughters right and polite. Her standards were very high and at times difficult for us mortals to uphold.

Once, after a night out in the French Quarter, Nettie smelled alcohol on my breath, and grounded Cami (her eldest daughter and my teenage chaperone) for a year. Nettie’s principles were more enforced than Louisiana law.

One of Nettie’s many rules was that her family eat together at the dinner table, nightly. Nettie carried forth many of Mawmie’s traditions that centered around a passionate love and appreciation for delicious home cooked food.

 

When Nettie’s girls were ready to marry, she organized 2 weddings 6 months apart, and a grand finale a few years later – spectacular affairs each time!

The girls soon had children of their own, expanding the family and bringing even more love…

Not long after the birth of their fourth grandchild, Frank was diagnosed with an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer.

Nettie stayed by his side…

 

 

So did his family…

 

Nurse Nettie enforced a strict detoxifying protocol, which included a supplemental program of vitamins and enzymes, along with colon cleanses and coffee enemas.

Frank remained a good sport, as he retired for his afternoon “crap-puccino”.

After 36 years of marriage filled with beautiful memories, Frank passed away on their wedding anniversary.

 

 

A few years later, Cupid struck again when Nettie fell in love and married her neighbor, Leonard…

 

 

…a man who had also lost his spouse to cancer. Nettie and Leonard comforted each other, while traveling broadly and bringing renewal to their lives.

 

In 2010, Nettie was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and underwent 12 months of chemotherapy. She rarely if ever complained, but instead put her energy into attending dance recitals, swimming meets and ballgames with her grandchildren. She also rebuilt a country home for her family that was destroyed during Hurricane Katrina.

 

I visited New Orleans 3 times this past August to be with family during this transformative time and bid farewell to my dear Aunt Nettie.

Her children remained by her side…

 

 

While in New Orleans, I was struck by how this family supports and serves each other. Help is often offered without request…or puffing or eye rolling.

I witnessed Nettie’s fearlessness. Her priest said she knew that death was not the end, but a “doorway”.  Nettie met death much like she lived her life: with unwavering strength and grace.

Her children have inherited these gifts from their mother. When driving home from the hospital one night, Cami told me that she didn’t feel bitter about losing her parents. She realizes how blessed was her time with them, and for that, she’s grateful.

She then drove casually through a red light on the dark rural road, suddenly reminding me of my own father.

Nettie spent her final days in the middle of her living room, surrounded at all times by those who loved her.

The last time I saw my Aunt Nettie, I asked for a moment alone with her. When the room emptied, I told her what she meant to me, that her mark was everlasting and her loving legacy would be felt forever.

She listened with her hand on her heart, while her kind eyes looked at me, smiled, and closed again…

Then we sat together in silence, looking out the bay windows at the hot summer sun setting in the distance, over voices of children playing in her backyard. We held hands while the bright orange ball of light descended, dispersing and fading into an infinite and wondrous universe.