Midlife Metamorphosis

I’m in the midst of a midlife meltdown. Since 2021, a camera has captured this turbulent time while I’ve wondered why the heck I signed up to be the subject of a damn documentary! 

Life has taken some sudden and shocking turns, and what I thought was solid ground continues to morph in messy unpredictable ways while the perfectionistic/people-pleasing parts of myself watch wide-eyed in panic. 

Our shared stories of love, loss, grief, succeeding, screwing up, death and rebirth, hit every human at different ages and stages, and occasionally knock us to our knees. Midlife just happens to be a time when these soul storms bring about big Change. 

For months, I’ve been using the metaphor of metamorphosis: feeling like I’m caught in a dense cocoon during that uncomfortable, insecure incubation stage once the caterpillar has left the safety of the garden and suddenly is confined inside a chrysalis, covered in goo, with bumps growing on its body and unable to see beyond its limited barriers… 

Last week, I visited the butterfly vivarium at the American Natural History Museum in NYC, and was deeply moved by the BEAUTY that eventually emerges from the goo.  

I learned it’s the “struggle” inside the cocoon that builds the strength of the wings. 

Recently, my friend and talented photographer, Jonathan Pozniak, met me in Palm Springs. As we played in the pool, something started to take shape from the watery depths – a magical metamorphosis, this time caught by his camera. 

Perhaps the best way to cultivate comfort during tough transitions is to remember that wonderful positive Change is always possible.