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Our Trip to Tahiti (aka that vacation my husband and I have talked about for ten years)

Posted · 14 Comments

When you have relatives in New Orleans, DC, NYC, Austin, Philly, Cali and Ireland…family obligations often override vacations. I love family, but if any of you are listening, you’re welcome to get your asses out to see us.

For three years, I’ve been bicoastal, living and working between LA and NYC. This year alone I’ve already made about a dozen trips between the two cities. Lately, the last thing I want to do is get on another plane to go anywhere but HOME.

My work schedule is always unpredictable and up in the air. It seems as soon as I book a ticket for some time off, I book an important job that shoots just once a year.

Bottom line, Chris and I prioritize work and social obligations and tend to put off plans for fun. We’ve been talking about traveling to Europe for a decade, and the last real vacation we took was over three years ago.

Enter our friends John and Jordan to put a stop to this pattern, with an invitation we couldn’t refuse.

tahiti-3

This time, the main reason we were motivated was to marry and bless our dear friends. Chris and I wrote out a ritual and were ready to celebrate. Our teary time together under a tree was as beautiful as this couple….

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Sure, social media tends to showcase everyone’s highlight reel, but this trip was pretty much perfect.

bungalow

boating

candle-lit-dinner_edited-1

I had gas for days after that meal!

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(And after all that unfamiliar fruit)

end

 

It’s tough to complain in a place that looks like a scene from Lord of the Rings…

tahiti-6

But leave it to Choid (the a-hole alien in my head), and he WILL find a problem in paradise!

On the drive back to the resort, shortly after we all swam with sharks and stingrays, I began to reflect on how attentive John was with Jordan. He tuned into her the entire time, gently encouraging her into the water…and into his arms.

swimming-with-sharks

Meanwhile, Chris said nothing to me – just swam off by himself and left me to swim solo.

on-my-own

Oh the familiar feeling of fending for myself while no one’s around (except lurking danger). It reminded me of MANY moments much earlier in my life. Swimming with sharks was a cakewalk compared to previous times I’ve come to terms with my comfort zone. Heck, if I had been coddled all my life, I might still be sitting on the shore, afraid to get my feet wet.

leg

After feeling sorry for myself, and wondering if my husband would care if I was eaten by a big fish, something in me snapped. In a moment of complete clarity, I was suddenly filled with what I’d call ‘unconditional love’. That lone-ranger part of Chris I’ve found fault with for years was momentarily replaced with an expanded sense of acceptance. His distance didn’t mean I wasn’t important to him, or something was wrong with our relationship, or that he loved me less than John loved Jordan….

It only took a decade of being with this man to realize it ain’t personal when he runs away. The remote-man I sometimes struggle with is just a part of him – something he learned early on to cope with his own scarce comfort zone. In that moment, I fully loved and embraced the WHOLE person. (Hopefully I’ll hold on to that perspective now that we’ve re-entered the real world.)

My most potent spiritual downloads have happened during trips to the tropics. It’s amazing how much metaphor a simple sunrise can offer about the unpredictable/inevitable clouds of life, and the ever-present light behind everything. Everywhere I looked in Tahiti, there was great insight into the NATURE of things.

sunrise

It’s important to hustle and make stuff happen, yet it’s just as important to take breaks, reconnect to nature and loved ones…and what matters most.

love

finale

Thank you John and Jordan for the special time together. May your marriage grow and continue to inspire LOVE everywhere you go!

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lovers

14 Responses to "Our Trip to Tahiti (aka that vacation my husband and I have talked about for ten years)"
  1. Laura L says:

    Perfect! Well done baby.
    And maybe , Chris doesn’t think twice about you swimming with sharks because he knows how incredibly capable, independent,bad ass you are …(as do we)

  2. Michelle LaCouture-Ramirez says:

    ❤️

  3. What a beautiful post Adele, in more ways than meets the eye. Glad you are doing well and have maintained a healthy perspective amongst the crazies in Hollywood 🙂

  4. Lynda Lovett says:

    Beautiful, Adele. Since we will be celebrating our 44th Anniversary this month, I felt a special connection with you and your epiphanies with .Chris, whom I love. The day I realized that if I was truly with the right person, all I could do to make it better, would be to encourage him to follow his heart, and to be himself. To me, that’s about trusting him and me. We all need to be who we are and be where we want to be. How egotistical it is to try to change people. Who says I’m better than he is, right? Love you, Lyn

    • Adele says:

      Happy Anniversary Lyn!! 44 years. Amazing! Here’s to many more with some pretty amazing men. Yes, acceptance is where it’s at. I’ll share your wise words with Choid next time. Love you x

  5. Lynn says:

    I love how nature teaches us so much! Here’s to many more decades of beautiful unconditional love!! Love you both so much!!

  6. Mary says:

    Demons don’t need a shark cage in any form. ?

  7. Mark Uddo says:

    Beautiful Deli! You too Chris! Such a great way to re-connect and revive! You are ready to send Choid to swim with the sharks now! Straight to Hades!

  8. Stacy Burka says:

    Your honesty inspires me and your words always touch something deep in my heart……keep writing et al…..

  9. TC says:

    Choid, meet cancer because IT will scare the shit out of you. LOL
    Adele, aka Deli girl to her family, you are such a fantastic , beautiful soul and I love you more than you know and you know so much. Your words inspire me and your evolution has been inspiring. Relationships present so many challenges that some people flee while others go with the flow. Either way people grow with the Love. The Love is the reason we’re
    here and the purpose is to “be here now.” Now, Now, Now…..

    • adele says:

      Wisely and beautiful said TC!! You are warrior with what you’ve been through recently. I’m sure your perspective has shifted profoundly and is more grounded in the simple (but so hard for us humans to incorporate) truths that make life rich and wonderful. LOVE and being present. Yep. Noted. Thanks for the beautiful reminder! Love you always x

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