To Be Perfectly Blunt

Last week I was Emily Blunt’s hand double on an Yves Saint Laurent commercial. Within minutes of telling my friend Mary the news, her girlfriend emailed me requesting a picture of Emily. Snapping pictures of celebrities is generally considered unprofessional, so I told her see I’d see what I could do. Then googled “Emily Blunt” to see about all the fuss.

I knew her name and recognized the face, but wasn’t sure in what film I may have seen her. Mary then reminded me that I saw Emily recently in a movie with Matt Damon.

Still nothing…

“She played a dancer,” Mary said.

A few neurons fired, but I couldn’t remember the storyline, what she looked like in the film, or whether or not I liked the flick.

What I’m trying to get at is my memory is horrible – a fact that, at times, concerns me.

Just yesterday I auditioned for a vodka commercial. After the camera slate, the casting director asked what I did last weekend. I blanked…totally blanked…pondering with a musing stare, straight into the camera, desperate to recall something. Granted it was already Tuesday, and after all, I am a double-Libra (also known as an “air Sign”, or to some: air head).

So instead of making up some crap with a big artificial smile, I said, “If you’re looking for someone with early Alzheimer’s, I guess I’m your gal.”

My lack of retention and recall is especially frustrating since I live in a town where people name-drop and talk incessantly about showbiz (commonly referred to as “The Industry”). I do my best to avoid these conversations, since I rarely remember plot line, nor names of actors (even the famous ones) upon exiting the theater.

Sometimes I recall in extraordinary detail, but more often my brain fog and general spaciness extends beyond pop culture. Please don’t ask me about politics. Not only am I a poor candidate for a clever discussion, I’m generally not interested in discussing people in power more dim than myself.

Moments ago, as I write from LAX on my way to NY, I overheard a reference to Rupert Murdoch (who I confused with Warren Buffet) and a big scandal about which I was clueless.

Honestly, I’m not sure how my poor memory developed (or didn’t). Maybe it’s an unfortunate side effect of smoking marijuana in the 2nd grade.  Perhaps it’s hereditary. In Spring of 2011, my mother asked (while watching the Kardashians for the first time), “Who is Lindsey Lohan?” Perhaps it’s cultural. After all, most of my childhood was spent without a TV.  Perhaps I have ADD, or need more DHA…or maybe I’m simply self-absorbed (Can you tell?).

Whatever the reason, I’m not proud of my handicap. In fact I’m a bit embarrassed – though I’m especially embarrassed when I forget what I’m saying mid-sentence. An old fact-finding friend of mine once told me I wouldn’t get very far in this business knowing so little about The Industry. Is that why I’m stuck lifting fingers for the famous?

I’ve always been impressed with people who have ample space on their mental hard drives to store data and details about everything from TV trivia to technology. Mary is such a friend (and thankfully without the condescension of certain “Industry” experts).

She recently explained to me WHO the heck Dr. Who was with the following: “A British sci-fi time traveling alien known as The Doctor, who tours around in a Time machine called the TARDIS that resembles a police phone box, and with several cohorts saves civilization as we know it.”

And I thought talking about my past lives and gluten sensitivity made me the weird one.

As far as Emily Blunt, I was able to send Mary’s girlfriend a picture of everything but Ms Blunt:

Her chair…

Makeup…

Shoes…

Jewelry…

Wardrobe change…

Me in 2nd wardrobe change…

And of course, my (I mean, HER) hand…

Considering the stereotype of “the haughty celebrity”, the majority of those I’ve worked with have been more than kind. Emily was no exception. At the shoot, she walked into the makeup room (gorgeous in person), introduced herself with a shy sweet smile, and left me with a fond feeling I will surely remember.

With every part and all my heart, Adele.

In honor of YSL (one of my favorite makeup lines), today’s tip highlights the importance of highlighting skin.

Drama classes teach how to apply stage makeup appropriate for creating a variety of characters. In order to transform an actor into a “Young Girl”, one must lighten dramatically the area around the eyes. No other tool is more efficient to bring bright radiance to the eyes (without creating raccoon eyes in the reverse) than TOUCHE ECLAT.

Touché Eclat is more than a concealer, it’s a pen that illuminates and attracts light to the skin, brightening the complexion and erasing signs of fatigue.

I’ve met many of the best makeup artists in the world on these shoots, and the opinions are unanimous that Touché Eclat is an eye-popping must-have. In fact, the very talented makeup artist contracted by YSL (whose name of course escapes me, dammit!) gave me an insider tip, that next year, YLS is coming out with a foundation made with the same light-enhancing formula found in Touché Eclat. Yay and Touché!