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To Be Perfectly Blunt

Posted · 14 Comments

Last week I was Emily Blunt’s hand double on an Yves Saint Laurent commercial. Within minutes of telling my friend Mary the news, her girlfriend emailed me requesting a picture of Emily. Snapping pictures of celebrities is generally considered unprofessional, so I told her see I’d see what I could do. Then googled “Emily Blunt” to see about all the fuss.

Emily_Blunt_2

I knew her name and recognized the face, but wasn’t sure in what film I may have seen her. Mary then reminded me that I saw Emily recently in a movie with Matt Damon.

Still nothing…

“She played a dancer,” Mary said.

A few neurons fired, but I couldn’t remember the storyline, what she looked like in the film, or whether or not I liked the flick.

What I’m trying to get at is my memory is horrible – a fact that, at times, concerns me.

Just yesterday I auditioned for a vodka commercial. After the camera slate, the casting director asked what I did last weekend. I blanked…totally blanked…pondering with a musing stare, straight into the camera, desperate to recall something. Granted it was already Tuesday, and after all, I am a double-Libra (also known as an “air Sign”, or to some: air head).

So instead of making up some crap with a big artificial smile, I said, “If you’re looking for someone with early Alzheimer’s, I guess I’m your gal.”

My lack of retention and recall is especially frustrating since I live in a town where people name-drop and talk incessantly about showbiz (commonly referred to as “The Industry”). I do my best to avoid these conversations, since I rarely remember plot line, nor names of actors (even the famous ones) upon exiting the theater.

Sometimes I recall in extraordinary detail, but more often my brain fog and general spaciness extends beyond pop culture. Please don’t ask me about politics. Not only am I a poor candidate for a clever discussion, I’m generally not interested in discussing people in power more dim than myself.

Moments ago, as I write from LAX on my way to NY, I overheard a reference to Rupert Murdoch (who I confused with Warren Buffet) and a big scandal about which I was clueless.

Honestly, I’m not sure how my poor memory developed (or didn’t). Maybe it’s an unfortunate side effect of smoking marijuana in the 2nd grade.  Perhaps it’s hereditary. In Spring of 2011, my mother asked (while watching the Kardashians for the first time), “Who is Lindsey Lohan?” Perhaps it’s cultural. After all, most of my childhood was spent without a TV.  Perhaps I have ADD, or need more DHA…or maybe I’m simply self-absorbed (Can you tell?).

Whatever the reason, I’m not proud of my handicap. In fact I’m a bit embarrassed – though I’m especially embarrassed when I forget what I’m saying mid-sentence. An old fact-finding friend of mine once told me I wouldn’t get very far in this business knowing so little about The Industry. Is that why I’m stuck lifting fingers for the famous?

Adele Hugh Jackman

I’ve always been impressed with people who have ample space on their mental hard drives to store data and details about everything from TV trivia to technology. Mary is such a friend (and thankfully without the condescension of certain “Industry” experts).

She recently explained to me WHO the heck Dr. Who was with the following: “A British sci-fi time traveling alien known as The Doctor, who tours around in a Time machine called the TARDIS that resembles a police phone box, and with several cohorts saves civilization as we know it.”

And I thought talking about my past lives and gluten sensitivity made me the weird one.

As far as Emily Blunt, I was able to send Mary’s girlfriend a picture of everything but Ms Blunt:

Her chair…

Makeup…

Shoes…

Jewelry…

Wardrobe change…

Me in 2nd wardrobe change…

And of course, my (I mean, HER) hand…

Considering the stereotype of “the haughty celebrity”, the majority of those I’ve worked with have been more than kind. Emily was no exception. At the shoot, she walked into the makeup room (gorgeous in person), introduced herself with a shy sweet smile, and left me with a fond feeling I will surely remember.

With every part and all my heart, Adele.

Handy Tip

In honor of YSL (one of my favorite makeup lines), today’s tip highlights the importance of highlighting skin.

Drama classes teach how to apply stage makeup appropriate for creating a variety of characters. In order to transform an actor into a “Young Girl”, one must lighten dramatically the area around the eyes. No other tool is more efficient to bring bright radiance to the eyes (without creating raccoon eyes in the reverse) than TOUCHE ECLAT.

Touché Eclat is more than a concealer, it’s a pen that illuminates and attracts light to the skin, brightening the complexion and erasing signs of fatigue.

I’ve met many of the best makeup artists in the world on these shoots, and the opinions are unanimous that Touché Eclat is an eye-popping must-have. In fact, the very talented makeup artist contracted by YSL (whose name of course escapes me, dammit!) gave me an insider tip, that next year, YLS is coming out with a foundation made with the same light-enhancing formula found in Touché Eclat. Yay and Touché!

14 Responses to "To Be Perfectly Blunt"
  1. Comedy Karma says:

    I love it! And I love your lack of memory. I enjoy reminding you when my birthday's coming up and who Barack Obama is.

    And thanks for the concealer tip. Just yesterday I was grilling a makeup artist about the best concealer and this one came up! I have to get this!

  2. Adele Uddo says:

    Thanks CC for always being there to remind me of who the hell I am… And yes, I think you'll love Touche Eclat. It'll help further 'highlight' those beautiful brown eyes of yours 🙂

  3. Mindschmootz says:

    What you lack in pop culture knowledge, you more than make up for with your vast mental library of the good things in life…food, friends, and family.

    I'll make you a deal. I'll keep you up on the mundane of media and politics, if you will keep making me laugh 'til I cry; keep me up on the latest in organic seeds, oils, and powders; and keep me highlighted, enhanced…and concealed!

  4. Lynn Zavaro says:

    My favorite line: (whose name of course escapes me, dammit!)LOL out loud hilarious.

    i'm LOVING the pretty parts tips – gotta get this (now I'm forgetting the name without having to scroll up- ha!

    we get it at dept stores?

    thanks adele for another funny blog!

  5. Adele Uddo says:

    What would I do without you, Mind? I couldn't function without my MIND. It's a DEAL!

    And yes Lynn, you can get it at most department stores, or Sephora… And in case you wish to order online, I've included direct links to YSL. So glad you're loving the tips 🙂

  6. Chris says:

    Spacey is IN. Total Recall is OUT.

    There is something so cute and endearing about someone who can't remember their neighbors who they've met a half dozen times OR what they ate for breakfast…

    Just remember how much you mean to me AND…my birthday.

    I Love you.

  7. Julie says:

    if it's any consolation, i was going to tell you something but i forget what it was 😉

    Girrrrrrrrrrl you make me smile.

  8. Adele Uddo says:

    If spacey is IN, then I guess I'm finally fashionable (still workin' on the 'normal' part) 🙂

    Mate, you make me smile too! xo

  9. DDavis2 says:

    I feel your pain sister. I am that person who is introduced by a friend to a friend and minutes later have to ask, "I'm sorry…what's your name again?" I've even tried the supposed fool proof method of repeating said person's name immediately after introduction. Ex…"Denise, this is Adele" Me – "Hello, Adele. It's so nice to meet you, Adele. So glad you could make it to our party, Adele. Adele, have you tried the stuffed mushrooms? They're delicious, Adele." Only to, not five minutes later, address the person as someone else…Or not at all, just to avoid the embarrassment of not remembering their name.

    And I've NEVER toked the smoke 🙂

    I also love everyone's responses. Esp. Chris'.."Just remember how much you mean to me AND my birthday." Cuteness 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your witty words!

  10. Adele Uddo says:

    Denise, that's hilarious!! I'm going to try repeating someone's name like that next time I'm at a party, and I'll let you know if I have better luck… I'm guessing NOT. Thank you for your witty and wonderful comments! 🙂

  11. Dr. Nicki says:

    Hysterical…if I remember correctly what I just read!

  12. Anonymous says:

    well, for starters the title of that last blog was what reeled me in for sure. i love plays on words and that worked for me big time. and, may i remind you, that emily blunt made it big in Devil Wears Prada with meryl streep and that other actress whose name escapes me. guess we have the same affliction! please keep those blogs coming……

  13. Adele Uddo says:

    It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my hazy head 🙂 Perhaps I should no longer use the excuse that prepubescent pot smoking is to blame!

  14. Anonymous says:

    I am having that same problem – what the hell? I am figuring that I have been around too long & meet to many darn people – did you get to steal any YSL stuff?

    SB LOVE

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